I was worried that parents would be upset about giving their kids coffee, so I got decaf. (I was not worried about the beer, becaue my parents were from Wisconsin and caffeine was a bigger deal than alcohol.) The coffee I chose doesn’t perfectly resemble seventeenth century “coffee powder,” but the places that sold such online were all sold out. Is there a coffee holiday in July I don’t know about?

I sliced a cucumber as a demo. It shredded into pieces. Impossible to get a nice, even slice. Pivot. “We’re going to have deconstructed california rolls!” The teens cheered. I guess they don’t know yet that “deconstructed” means “messy” or “hiding a mistake.”

Once the boba was ready, we assembled our drinks. Not all of the teens were familiar with condensed milk, but they loved it. Not surprisingly, most of the teens asked if they could add more milk and honey to their drinks. They like sugar. Not that I can blame them. When I was their age, I would mix Kool-Aid packets with sugar and add a tiny bit of water, and then just eat it.

That’s one of many reasons why I’m fat but also why we were able to save up enough Kool-Aid points for a Gameboy.

The dishwasher is fixed (yea!) but the menu is still all out of order. We make tortillas, elotes, pizza from the day before, and start horchata.

Day 1 of historical cooking camp for teens goes haywire. We make medieval macaroni, Civil War lemonade, and pizza from 1947.